We all want our children to be happy, well liked and good to others. How do we support our children in learning to be kind? This topic often comes up in fall as children make new friends at school. We also want to use same approaches to online interactions since so many children are now interacting with classmates, friends and family members through video chats.
Children develop social-emotional skills in many ways. The three approaches that make the most impact are modeling, role playing and playing games, and storytelling. Parents can help to build a foundation for their young children by incorporating these approaches in their families’ daily activities.
Modeling – Act kind yourself. Modeling is by far the best way to instill kind behavior in your children. Children love to imitate us, and if we act in a kind manner, they will, too. Praise your children when they exhibit kindness, and explain why you thought what they did was a kind thing to do. It’ll become a habit. When you see kindness in others, share your thoughts with your children. “That was so kind of Jane to share her snack with you at school.” In an online situation, compliment your child (i.e., “You waited your turn to speak. That was great!”). When our children hear the praise we give others, they will want to exhibit the same behavior. Try not to be negative, and redirect your children when they act unkindly. For example, explain how the other person may feel, talk about what your children could have done differently and help your children apologize.
Role Playing and Playing Games – Create opportunities for your child to play. Your child will act out real–life situations while playing with stuffed animals, robotic toys and dolls. Interacting in unguided play with other children also supports learning to get along with others. Playing games can be part of dramatic play, too. Games help children learn to take turns and develop sportsmanship. Try games where your children need to collaborate with another player to win. Relay races, parachute games and family scavenger hunts are several good choices.
Reading and Sharing Stories – Read stories where the characters must make decisions about their behaviors. Talk about the consequences of both kind and not-so-kind actions. Children learn through the stories by relating to the characters and the events. Here are some favorites that focus on kindness to get you started:
- If You Plant a Seed by Kadir Nelson
- I Walk with Vanessa by Kerascoët
- Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig and Patrice Barton
- The Kindness Quilt by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace
- Possum’s Harvest Moon by Anne Hunter
You can also share stories from your childhood or from your family’s experiences. These are important to young children and can help them learn life’s lessons.
